Nimita Mam Part 4

Nimita Mam - Heres a moon-pie from one of your most favorite students and my bestest friend Pratiksha :
"
August 1999.
Climbing up the hill is usually tiring, but for me it was intimidating. It was a rainy day and my palms perspired holding the umbrella. I was just praying that no one talks to me or asks me any question. I turned my head down and walked straight. They told us to get inside the classroom and sit. Then someone else came and told us to go out. We all were so confused, after all we were fresh pieces in L&T Institute Of Technology. I came out and stood with others and suddenly something struck my ears.. "Do you guys think you are very smart? Abhi bahar raho, fir seniors ragging karenge aur fir aao mere pass rote hue" It was a loud but angry voice and I could only hear the word Ragging, which was enough to startle me. A short and healthy lady stared at us through her glasses. I thought "I dont remember when I was punished in school but today on the first day of college Ma'am is going to punish me" Nahin aisa kuch nahi hua. Ma'am looked at our innocent faces and calmed down, told us to get inside the classroom and not to come out till she comes. So this was my first introduction with Mrs. Raut yeah Nimita Raut. :)

Then it started.. MST lectures, she calling me Miss 652 (Because my SSC score was 652 same as her son's). I just loved listening to her, her stories, her masti bhari adaayein, and her unique style of asking questions. Her questions always puzzled us. She always said that Dinesh is the only person who thinks in totally different direction, but then she also said there is one more person in the class who can beat him in thinking. She never mentioned the name of that second person, however I always felt like being that second person. :) Yeah back to her questions, I was so proud of myself when I was the only one who answered her question "What did make titanic sink?" All my classmates came up with so many answers, few of them were actually out of my understanding. Well I just murmured "Creep" Yeah Ma'am shouted "Thats true Pratiksha.. say it loudly". You dont know how happy I was to hear that. Nimita ma'am always made me feel comfortable, always tried to to make me confident.

First year of LTIT was over, yeah I scored 93 in MST :) As we moved to Computer specific subjects, Nimita ma'am was lost in the classrooms, but she returned with IOM in 7th Semester. I was little tensed during this period, due to my health issues and dad's voluntary retirement. I dont know how but Nimita ma'am caught me before my friends could understand my problem. I was hurrying to the library and she was standing in front of me, her smile told me that she is going to ask me now and yes she did "What is wrong Pratiksha, tum aaj kal thik nahi dikhte ho. sab thik hai na beta? Dont take tension, things will be alright." (I dont remember her exact words, but this is what she must have said) I smiled, she did not ask me further. I knew she would not ask. Her two lines made me so much comfortable and I felt like I have regained my strengths to fight with the situation. I would always be greatful to her. Here I grab the opportunity to express my love and gratitude towards her, by sharing the moments still alive in my heart. :)
"

In all these parts we have seen that Nimi has not lived any extra-ordinary life becoming over-nightly famous celebrity. Yet she remains one of the most wonderful women that have left an impact on my life.
Nimi's story is frankly of any other simple house-wife cum working women who are present in thousands and millions in the city itself, but what distinguishes her from all others is her jovial and uncomplaining nature. Being a mother of two kids and having to deal with hundred other kids along with being a good wife and juggle your way through stressful traveling, I had never heard or seen her complaining about any situation. In short, she was never nagging about how difficult her life is. She really knew the art of making a fantastic lemonade incase life threw lemons at her! That was surprising to me because I have known a lot of housewives and working women, rich or poor, who never seem happy or satisfied with what they have and have something to complain about.
But Nimita Mam was always cheerful and industrious and took pride in her job - a quality she credits to her father who advised her to be so.

We all face criticism - from our bosses, advisors, superiors and it gets into our nerves sometimes. How does Nimi react to criticism - She would ask one question to herself - Is this really something she needs to improve? If its not giving the expected results, then yes, take steps to improve else, shred the tension luggage and forget about it.

So what does Nimi do when the low feelings creep in as they do to every women - She gives her sweet tooth a treat of gulabjamuns :) haha, well, and also remembers a message from her Dad who said " Do not do same thing in same manner, try to bring variety and betterment to every-day task you do. Enjoy life, don't whine, and don't complain and stay positive - if you think you can you most certainly can"

and what remains to be achieved for her - She wishes to do a Masters in Formity Management from Indian Institute of Technology, Bombay

We wish you all the very best Mam to achieve all of your dreams and also wish that we always remain a part of your life. Do know that you have really played an important role in molding our lives and we love you very much. Thank you for being such a strong support, rather making us learn to laugh at our problems
Guru Purnima Ki ShubhKamanayen Ma'm - Aapka aashirwad humpe sada barsaye rakhna :)

- to a wonderful teacher, from her student.

Nimita Mam Part 3

So when our Nimi was busy building her career, a fine young man had lost his heart to her from the same batch in the university - Nachiket Raut. They met during group counseling or social gatherings and started liking each other. Though "dating" is not really a part of Indian culture, the couple managed to find time to know each other. They could go to movies but only with a group of friends. So when they finally committed to each other, first thing they did was to tell their parents about their decision. Love marriage was really not much accepted version of marriage back then (even now in some places). The relatives would give you a look as though you have committed a blasphemy! Nevertheless, the couple was hopelessly in love and determined to make it work - together they made it possible. After much reluctance, their parents gave their blessings too, and the couple got married on Jan24th, 1983.

Now, Nimi had to take a difficult decision here. She worked in Faridabad - North of India, whereas Mr. Raut was placed in Selum, Tamilnadu - South of India and she decided to resign from her job and move with her husband to Selum. What I always wondered is, why did a career-oriented woman like Nimita Mam succumb to such an adjustment when she was doing very well in her job and happy with it. To this Mam gave me two reasons which I did find quite plausible - One was that, women always have an inclination to have a husband, have her kids and be a part of a beautiful family. She was no different from the young girl who dreams about wearing the red saree at her wedding, marrying the man of her dreams, her house, since when she was 12.. and second and my favorite reason was when she said - Monika, a woman however educated and independent is the ONE to compromise/ make adjustments. The point is finding a man worth adjusting for and then you will never feel you have compromised. Infact, it leaves you with a feeling of fulfillment. Mr. Raut had been supportive to her all these years and he had married her promising to be with her in sickness and health. She felt 100% sure of what she wanted and without a doubt, resigned from her job.

Lesson learnt - Adjustments are a part of life, whats important is, if you do them for a guy who understands it well enough to realize that when a woman adjusts, she is not weak, but actually strong enough to let go what she likes and hence he takes the responsibility of keeping her smiling.

So, Nimi started her married life in Selum. Within a year of her marriage, she gave birth to a baby boy. In-spite of heart problems and other complications, the baby made it through and our Nimi was now a Mom - the prestigious milestone every women wants to reach. The couple had truly entered the phase of "Grihasthashram" i.e having a family and social responsibilities. Nimi took tuition classes for local school children for the 10 years that they lived in Selum.
Nimi was blessed with second child, again a baby boy and within few years of it, there was a major change in her life.

Mr. Raut was transferred to Bombay - the city that never sleeps! the city of lights, the city of dreams! Nimi had started thinking about getting back to work-life, but this time as a teacher. She made just one application to Larsen and Toubro Institute of Technology, Powai and received a telegram in the summer of 1992 that she has been accepted for the position of "Material Science and Technology" professor in the Diploma college which later luckily, happened to be my Alma Mater.

Her typical day now would be getting up early at 430am to make lunch, get the kids ready for school, come to work, teach and come home by 630 to again be a wonderful wife and mother.
And when did Nimi find time for herself - Well, when most of Bombayites take their time to sleep during long travel times of trains and buses, Nimi took her time to read books. When I was leaving for United States, I had asked her to give me a list of good-read-books and wrote the list on a torn piece of paper. But I remember all of them - The FountainHead, The Alchemist, Atlas Shrugged, The Da Vinci Code and P.G Woodhouse laughter series. and needless to say, all these books were marvelous and amazing.

And what magic she did as a teacher - is unexplainable. She left an impact on every student in the class. Her teaching style was practical oriented, fun filled as well as serious science.
She was a mother who would not spare the rod to spoil the child. Her strict eyes behind the spectacles complimented her sweet smile to make learning an enjoyable experience.
For me, she was my first ideal woman when I had entered the real world just out of school.
There was something uncanny about her teaching. Her strict voice, her years of experience, she knew every reaction of her students. She could read your face easily (yes, she could spot you distinctly even if you tried sleeping in her class with your eyes open :) - reward you for your good work and punish equally for procrastinating! I remember vividly many of the incidents where she amazed us by her wit mixed with her jocular nature.
ohh! I so miss being her student !

Well, she agrees that it took a lot of work to reach to this point. When she started first as a teacher, she felt it was not easy to fit in a leaders role for students. She had to bridge the gap between her education and experience with the "we-have-no-clue-whats going-on" out-of-school-students. Just like any other normal being, she accepts that her high-tempered nature was not helping and had to work a lot on being patient with the students, though being a mother of two did contribute to it.

Since then, LTIT institute is blessed to have her experience as a professor and Nimi continues to work here. Her kids have grown up, elder one getting married this year and younger one studying in a university out of town. So our Nimi will become the dreaded mother-in-law sooon :) Well, am sure her daughter-in-law is lucky to have such an inspirational and most of all funny natured mother-in-law.

On asking how does she feel to be this successful, she answers, "Monika, I feel I have lived a very content and happy life- no complains, no regrets" something we all strive to achieve...

Jhansi Ki Rani - Nimita Ma'm - Part 2

17th day of October, 1959, Nimita was born to the Malhotra family in Banaras, India. Nimi (let us take some liberty to call her Nimi here onwards) did her schooling at Central Hindu Girls School under Uttar Pradesh State Board. Her mother was a housewife and father was a lecturer in metallurgical department. With two younger siblings, Nimi had a wonderful childhood in Banaras. Her favorite subject was Maths and Science and she idolized Jhansi Ki Rani (i.e the brave queen who fought against the British rule for Jhansi - a territory in India). Summer holidays were spent reading novels, playing with friends, painting, cooking, phew! Nimi was also taught a few lessons in tailoring and embroidery work - a must for every Indian women since it was believed that knowing this household stuff will impress the groom who will marry her.

Days passed by and when Nimi was 10, her family moved to London for the next three years for her Dad was pursuing his PhD. degree.
First few days in London were difficult for her due to the language barrier. She felt dumb during all other classes except for Mathematics class. Her teacher was amazed to see that she was the first one to solve each and every problem given in that class.

After they returned from London, Nimi joined ICSE school board in sixth grade.
On completion of her higher secondary school, sharp girl that our Nimi was, cleared the Joint Entrance Exam (JEE- a very difficult and competitive exam) and got admitted to Institute of Technology, Banaras Hindu University.
She was the ONLY girl in the metallurgical as well as other branches of that university. It was very commendable for a girl to be in the technical field. So now, here was our Nimi, enrolled in a 5-year B.Tech course along with hundreds of other sharp but mischievous boys. Recalling the memory of those days, Nimi agrees that things weren't at all easy as they seemed. She was troubled by the mischievous boys who had their share of fun by throwing chalks at her between lectures and bullying her. One day when she had enough of it, she walked furiously into the Dean's office and logged a formal complain about these troublesome boys. The Dean promised to handle this and threatened the students to cancel their scholarships if the behavior continued. And bingo! it worked. From then onwards, Nimi was called Rani of Jhansi of BHU.
The Lesson learnt - Never tolerate nuisance for a long. Face it and dare to stand against it. You will never regret being bold.

So now our Nimi was in her fifth and final year of her graduation when the leading metallurgical companies plunged in to pick the best brains for their firm. Nimi was hired by the first company that came on-campus. Reason - they made an offer to the first three toppers of metallurgical branch and undoubtedly, Nimi was amongst them. She recalls that the HR, General Manager and Managing Director had come for the final interview and complimented her for being the first lady ever to join their company. Her parents must have been so proud.

So Nimi's first posting was in Faridabad with few days of training in Jaipur. She stayed with her grandfather and traveled to Faridabad everyday. Although she was hired as an engineer to work in metallurgical shops, Nimi was transferred to the R&D department to have a desk job considering that a lady would be more comfortable working in relaxed atmosphere. She could not find this job as enjoyable as working on a shop-floor and expressed her displeasure. Within two months, they brought her back to the shop to work with metals and furnaces where Nimi found what we call "job-satisfaction".

Now what kept me wondering in all this discussion was, that when did the love bug bit our Nimi. Being the only girl in her university, she must have enjoyed all the attention of the boys and most of them would have had crush on her. But then who was the lucky one to whom our Nimi reciprocated? How did they date in those days with strict parents and even stricter culture?

Well, lets wait to hear who was the charming prince of Nimi's life in the next part ..

The shrewd lady - Part 1

Early July 1999 - It was the basement room of L&T Institute of Technology where college admission procedures were carried out. I was just out of school but still held my Dad's hand tightly as we moved to the admission counter table. The professors were helping with the paperwork. A shrewd lady looked through her spectacles as we handed our forms. Her first sight though scary, was somewhat relieving. She was carefully going through every applicant's form as she said - "Itna aasan nahi hota yahan admission milna, you have to work really hard to keep up." and I thought, oh, I don't think I will miss school teachers here! Ayyapan Sir's face smiled as we completed the rest of the formalities and I left the place with the shrewd lady's words lingering in mind, painting a picture of what lies ahead.

My father worked in Larsen and Toubro - a German Engineering company which also ran a 4-year diploma college right next to the company shops. The college had a rule to admit only those students whose parents worked for that company. After completing my secondary school, I got lucky to be admitted here for my computer engineering degree and that is where I met the (shrewd) and wonderful lady - Prof. Nimita Raut - the focus of my next story of women beyond success.

Present Jo - Part 4

Currently, Jo is working as a Life Coach - http://greenmountainlifecoach.com/
while managing her work in substance abuse as a social service activist.
Dan and Jo meet at the marriage counter (a local community activity), on the first Wednesday of every month, to counsel other couples and share their experiences of a joyful marriage.
Jo takes her time out to visit friends, take care of her beautiful garden or just take a nap. Her favorite guilty pleasure food is Chocolate Pudding in whipped cream with walnuts.

Dan works as an architect/designer in his carpentry business and enjoys his spare time playing his musical instruments. Natessa has completed her graduation and works as a teacher for early education for young kids while Jaimen is currently in his junior year and also works as a teacher at a local pre-school.
Here is a piece of Dan's message for Jo :

"Monika has asked for some 'words' about Jo, about who she is to me, what she means to me. "A couple sentences." she says. I say.... well, maybe one word, or two, or ten pages... but two sentences... how could I do that? And here I have already used two and am into my third...

I will say that Jo brought love and loyalty and caring into my life. And strength, and drive, and motion. And emotion too. She has grounded me and encouraged me to fly. She brought two beautiful children into my life, asked me to become their father and trusted me with that great and precious task/gift. She has a wonderful and caring heart. Loves people, Loves to help, loves to connect. Has lived with a great deal of pain because of the loss of her own mother and is a triumphant survivor. She is very 'real.' She is just who she is, and she also keeps growing and becoming. She is very deep and she lives right on the surface, in the moment. A great friend, wife, mother, sister.... a good person, kind and giving and fun and a great dancer!"

Thank you sooo much Dan for sharing it with us.

Jo is the walking angel in their life filled with compassion, whose most enjoyable moment in her life is when the kids call her "mom" whereas her greatest regret is when her children get discriminated because of their color.

Now what remains - Lets take a peak in Jo's wish-list
- To have grandchildren
- To take a trip around the world
- Visit India and work there
- make quilts for children with old clothes to keep them warm with her love..

Here's wishing Jo that she achieves all of her deepest wishes and continues to inspire young and old women with her confidence and positive attitude to keep going.
Love you Jo. You really are a source of inspiration for me.

Live on your terms - Jo Part 3

We have a fine girl graduating with an Associate degree and bagging a job as a legal secretary at the Montpelier Court house. Her mother would be so proud. She had everything a guy could dream of in his wife, and it was not long before the 20 year old damsel fell in love with the 21-year old William and got married to him.William was from a poor family in Stowe, Vermont and studied with Jo in the same college. One would picture a rosy life where Jo lived happily ever after. But little do we know what lies ahead of us. So didn't Jo. Their marriage started facing challenges. Jo tried her best to stand through it. She even supported her husband to complete his Master's at Boston university. At 27, she bought her first house in East Montpelier and lived with 25 housemates - coming and going. Amidst finding out that she can never have her own children due to a drug called DES which was given as medication to her mother, she juggled between her debts, her job and a bad marriage. Eventually, a divorce separated the couple, leaving her alone for the fight that lay ahead.While William tried to straighten himself with two other failed marriages, Jo decided to no more opt for a man's support but find other way to fulfill her deepest wish - To be a mother.
Very firm in her decision, Jo started to find adoption procedures and formalities. The International mission of hope orphanage with missionaries in Calcutta, India found a ray of hope for Jo's wishes. But even here, she waited two long years before her application was accepted and a four-month old baby girl was crying in her arms - waiting for her new mother to hug her tightly. Jo named her Natessa - after Nateshwar Natraj - the God of Dance. The baby was here, Jo's life had changed, but Jo was determined on one more wish - to have a sibling for Natessa. She loved and cared so much for the child that she wanted the siblings to stand by each other as a family, in case something would happen to her. And the noble prayer was answered after three long years. Jo adopted Jaimen- a premature baby on whom the doctors had given up the hope. Jo ripped off her chest and held Jaimen tightly and sure the warmth of a mother's love did the miracle. Jaimen survived ! Jo had actually given birth to a new life.

Now our Jo's life was changed - It had two baby members. With the increased responsibility, Jo realized she needs to spend more time with her new family. At the age of 36, she bought a house in Montpelier downtown, (her current residence) closer to work and lived with two housemates to support herself and her two kids. She had paid five grands each to the orphan institutions for her children. Even with these debts, she decided to switch her job to a less demanding one - just so she can do justice to her growing up kids. And she landed a job which perfectly complemented her compassionate nature. She was hired as a 'substance abuse prevention consultant' with the state health center and she accepted it wholeheartedly, even though it meant having a drastic amount of cut in her earnings.
But that was Jo for you - who loves talking to people, helping troubled teenagers, sheltering refugees in her very own house, serving the community - bravely and sincerely.

Life happens to you when you least expect it. Jo was not an exception. Though she was happy in her small and sweet family, thanking for giving her all she wanted, God knew she deserved more. On the morning of Jan 1, 1995, her phone rang to the voice of a man wishing her a happy new year. It was Daniel Wetmore, a fine handsome man who entered Romano family with a heart full of love and kindness. Dan was a friend of Jo's then housemate Malcolm, and would meet Jo at the local stores, developing a feeling of love and respect for Jo.

With course of time, Dan became an important part of Jo's life. Dan not only developed his relation with Jo, but loved her kids as a parent would.
And on the 17th day of August, 1997, Jo and Dan had a beautiful summer wedding and within a year, Dan adopted the two kids as his own. He gave them a gold ring, as a sign which meant he will always be with them.

Jo was 45 when she married Dan who was 40. With her loving and caring husband and two adorable children, Jo was blessed with what she really and truly wished for - a complete family, to feel a sense of belonging to that family, to have someone care for her as she did for all others in her life. While Jo continued to work for the troubled people, Dan switched his roles as a teacher, an architect and a fabulous carpenter.

After marriage Jo and Dan decided to shower their love on one more orphan child. But just when they were about to mail the application, they had a second thought which made them change their decision. Jo had developed fibromyalgia (muscle pain) in her mid 40s and had a hip replacement due to arthritis at the age of 51.

After working for the state for 35 years, she finally decided to retire. But sitting idle at home was not Jo. She found her way out to start a home-based business of being a life coach. She, along with her girlfriend, went online to take up a a course for life-coaching. Yes, our Jo is now a private consultant for individuals, organization-based managers and groups to help them achieve their goals while continuing work in substance abuse. She has few rooms in her house dedicated to troubled teenagers to help them find and build a career overcoming all the obstacles in their way.

the child Jo - Part 2

February 16, 1952 - Josephine was born to the Romano family in the New York City. Her father Rocco, a fine Italian man came to Ellis Island, NY for a better life and married Jo's mother. They had two boys - Johnnie and Anthony before Jo was born and within two years of Jo's birth the family moved to Bronx city where they stayed in a two-story brick house. Downstairs were Jo's grandparents and her uncle John, and upstairs was the Romano family.
Everyday, Jo would come home from school, do her homework and play hopscotch by herself. Their church, school, market, a local store everything was within a mile's radius. Even Jo's Aunt lived two blocks away from their house. Jo had Bologne sandwiches for lunch. In the evenings, her grandparents cooked dinner for the entire family and they ate together. But Jo's childhood had much more to undergo. When Jo was 5, her mother fell sick and was hospitalized for two years after which she met her fate. Jo lost her mother at the age of 7 leaving behind a hope chest filled with her love.

Life went on with Jo getting admission to a Catholic school in her fifth grade. She felt proud to wear her catholic uniform - a brown blazer, a texan tie, brown binnie and a brown and white pleated skirt. She walked two miles to her school and back, with her friends. With not many extra-curricular activities to-do around, Jo kept herself busy making crafts, playing stoop ball. She participated in girl scouts program. Religion became her most favorite subject through the secondary school. She found peace going to church every morning before school. She visited the nuns in the convent and helped them in cleaning chores and most importantly feeling the warmth of a mothers love - as close as she could get it.
Evenings were also spent with her favorite uncle John, whose funny and talkative nature was one of the few reasons to make Jo smile. She would enjoy his company and followed his ideals to be nice and loving.
Jo would try and find love in all the people around her. I cannot imagine how it is to grow up without your mother's love, but am sure it creates that empty space in you heart which lasts forever. For Jo, that was the reason to built up a personality to love the outcasted people, the ones who are sad and lonely - for she knew how terrible it felt. She would walk across from her house to the house of a granny who was deserted by her family and sit beside her holding her hand. She would take warm food to her during holidays.

Her role model with no surprises was the walking angel - our dear Mother Teressa. Jo admired her patience and love for lepers and outcast people. Also, Jacqueline Kennedy (the then first lady) was her favorite. Little Jo did not want to wash off her hand when Mrs. Kennedy had kissed it during her visit to a museum.

Years passed by, and teenage Jo got admission to Champlain college. She left her house in Bronx to find a new herself in the city of Burlington.

Just Jo! - Part 1

Sunday March 14, 2010 - My Homeshare Carlene calls her friend Jo to help her get some medicines after all others turned her down. I hoped this friend of hers helped her and even before the water for the tea boiled, Jo opened the back porch door, and smiled - I could feel a friend in her at that very moment. She rushed to get medicine for Carlene. In the meanwhile, Carlene told me that Jo had adopted 2 kids from India and its been 20 years since then. I felt one of my heart's deepest chords strike. I knew I wanted to hear her story. I thought I might do that when she comes at Carlene's next time. But unfortunately, I had to leave Carlene's place leaving no contact of Jo with me. Somewhere, my mind truly wished, if I could meet her once more, if she could tell me her story. And yes, although they take time, your prayers are always answered..
One Sunday, Cindy - my new homeshare asked me to come for the early mass at the church and there was Jo standing at the door welcoming people. We hugged each other so tight, and I exclaimed -wow, it feels soo blessed now. I was glad I met Jo again.

In the days that followed, I met more of Jo - she really thought I was helping her cook Indian food. What she didn't knew was that I felt so much at home with her. She along with her family - husband Dan, son Jaimen and daughter Natessa felt like a family to me. Mom-Dad, brother sister.. and then the golden chance arrived one Sunday evening. Jo let her heart out and spoke to me - of everything- her growing up, her dreams, her challenges and her deepest wish - to have a family... Here's more...