So when our Nimi was busy building her career, a fine young man had lost his heart to her from the same batch in the university - Nachiket Raut. They met during group counseling or social gatherings and started liking each other. Though "dating" is not really a part of Indian culture, the couple managed to find time to know each other. They could go to movies but only with a group of friends. So when they finally committed to each other, first thing they did was to tell their parents about their decision. Love marriage was really not much accepted version of marriage back then (even now in some places). The relatives would give you a look as though you have committed a blasphemy! Nevertheless, the couple was hopelessly in love and determined to make it work - together they made it possible. After much reluctance, their parents gave their blessings too, and the couple got married on Jan24th, 1983.
Now, Nimi had to take a difficult decision here. She worked in Faridabad - North of India, whereas Mr. Raut was placed in Selum, Tamilnadu - South of India and she decided to resign from her job and move with her husband to Selum. What I always wondered is, why did a career-oriented woman like Nimita Mam succumb to such an adjustment when she was doing very well in her job and happy with it. To this Mam gave me two reasons which I did find quite plausible - One was that, women always have an inclination to have a husband, have her kids and be a part of a beautiful family. She was no different from the young girl who dreams about wearing the red saree at her wedding, marrying the man of her dreams, her house, since when she was 12.. and second and my favorite reason was when she said - Monika, a woman however educated and independent is the ONE to compromise/ make adjustments. The point is finding a man worth adjusting for and then you will never feel you have compromised. Infact, it leaves you with a feeling of fulfillment. Mr. Raut had been supportive to her all these years and he had married her promising to be with her in sickness and health. She felt 100% sure of what she wanted and without a doubt, resigned from her job.
Lesson learnt - Adjustments are a part of life, whats important is, if you do them for a guy who understands it well enough to realize that when a woman adjusts, she is not weak, but actually strong enough to let go what she likes and hence he takes the responsibility of keeping her smiling.
So, Nimi started her married life in Selum. Within a year of her marriage, she gave birth to a baby boy. In-spite of heart problems and other complications, the baby made it through and our Nimi was now a Mom - the prestigious milestone every women wants to reach. The couple had truly entered the phase of "Grihasthashram" i.e having a family and social responsibilities. Nimi took tuition classes for local school children for the 10 years that they lived in Selum.
Nimi was blessed with second child, again a baby boy and within few years of it, there was a major change in her life.
Mr. Raut was transferred to Bombay - the city that never sleeps! the city of lights, the city of dreams! Nimi had started thinking about getting back to work-life, but this time as a teacher. She made just one application to Larsen and Toubro Institute of Technology, Powai and received a telegram in the summer of 1992 that she has been accepted for the position of "Material Science and Technology" professor in the Diploma college which later luckily, happened to be my Alma Mater.
Her typical day now would be getting up early at 430am to make lunch, get the kids ready for school, come to work, teach and come home by 630 to again be a wonderful wife and mother.
And when did Nimi find time for herself - Well, when most of Bombayites take their time to sleep during long travel times of trains and buses, Nimi took her time to read books. When I was leaving for United States, I had asked her to give me a list of good-read-books and wrote the list on a torn piece of paper. But I remember all of them - The FountainHead, The Alchemist, Atlas Shrugged, The Da Vinci Code and P.G Woodhouse laughter series. and needless to say, all these books were marvelous and amazing.
And what magic she did as a teacher - is unexplainable. She left an impact on every student in the class. Her teaching style was practical oriented, fun filled as well as serious science.
She was a mother who would not spare the rod to spoil the child. Her strict eyes behind the spectacles complimented her sweet smile to make learning an enjoyable experience.
For me, she was my first ideal woman when I had entered the real world just out of school.
There was something uncanny about her teaching. Her strict voice, her years of experience, she knew every reaction of her students. She could read your face easily (yes, she could spot you distinctly even if you tried sleeping in her class with your eyes open :) - reward you for your good work and punish equally for procrastinating! I remember vividly many of the incidents where she amazed us by her wit mixed with her jocular nature.
ohh! I so miss being her student !
Well, she agrees that it took a lot of work to reach to this point. When she started first as a teacher, she felt it was not easy to fit in a leaders role for students. She had to bridge the gap between her education and experience with the "we-have-no-clue-whats going-on" out-of-school-students. Just like any other normal being, she accepts that her high-tempered nature was not helping and had to work a lot on being patient with the students, though being a mother of two did contribute to it.
Since then, LTIT institute is blessed to have her experience as a professor and Nimi continues to work here. Her kids have grown up, elder one getting married this year and younger one studying in a university out of town. So our Nimi will become the dreaded mother-in-law sooon :) Well, am sure her daughter-in-law is lucky to have such an inspirational and most of all funny natured mother-in-law.
On asking how does she feel to be this successful, she answers, "Monika, I feel I have lived a very content and happy life- no complains, no regrets" something we all strive to achieve...
