Smile and Be Thankful - Cindy Part 4

So now what remains to achieve Cindy?

“I want to continue traveling, even after my retirement. I plan to rent an RV and travel to all the best places in the country.” She plans to spend 6 months in her travel and rest of the time with her friends and family in Montpelier.

So you see, she can never rest. Ever active Cindy likes to have a glass of her favorite wine in the evening, watch her new, solve the puzzles and chat with friends. She does not like to sit with unhappy people. And with her aura of happiness, I am sure no one can remain gloomy for long. Her divorce and one miscarriage were the most challenging times in her life, but giving birth to two kids and watching them grow were her biggest joys.

Cindy’s words of wisdom –

“You go through many stages in life and whatever stage you are in, ENJOI it.. (widening her eyes) coz its just a phase. It WILL pass away. Don’t worry too much as all hard things happen to make us stronger. Ups or downs, nothing is forever. And there is re-incarnation, live life the best you can and treat people the best you can. And most importantly, happiness is not out there, but in here” (points to her heart)..

And here is a letter from one of her best friends – Kate, describing their friendship and Cindy as a person::

“Cindy and I have been friends for about 30 years. We met at the Unitarian Church; our sons (Keith & Joseph) were/are the same age and became friends and Cindy and I soon found that we shared a friendship, too. A favorite activity of mine was getting together for tea on Sunday evening, often with our friend Jane, too (she had a daughter, Darcy, in our sons' class). That activity was the cement that bonded us together...we could talk about anything and know that it stayed amongst just us as we dealt with the trials and tribulations of being parents, wives, divorcees and "finding" ourselves.

Cindy, Jane and I always enjoyed an annual weekend at Cindy's camp, "Hammock Haven" in Alburgh on Lake Champlain. We nicknamed ourselves, Birdie, Maude and Helen one year. We expect to be getting together over the years as our elderly mentors on a greeting card Birdie, Maude and Helen did. We shared cooking, always went out to eat on Saturday night at a nice restaurant, went kayaking and exploring. Ann Moulton and Marge Zunder also came at different times. When I had a cottage on Lake Woodbury, we continued our tradition of friends' weekend and now Marge has become the hostess at her lodge @ East Long Pond. We love the time to swim, relax, read, share good food and wine, kayak and just enjoy each other's company.

Cindy has always loved to travel. She traveled to Europe and enjoyed the company of her sons at different times on those trips. I remember book marks that she brought us from the Tuscany Valley in Italy, a spot that she loved. She so enjoyed her visit with son Keith to the Isle of Skye in Scotland, where her McCloud ancestors were from. Then, she decided to get her Master's in English as a Second Language at St. Michaels and move to Mexico! With her kayak on top, she drove from Vermont to Mexico and settled in for about 3 years. I visited her when she lived in the beautiful colonial city of Morelia in Michocan. She made many interesting friends there and was so happy living in the warm climate. One day we drove to the mountains and climbed to find the monarch butterfly sanctuary where millions of monarchs migrate to each year...an awesome experience.

When Cindy returned from Mexico, she stayed at my house in Montpelier for a bit until she got a job and settled in St. Albans. Later, she was ready to move back to Montpelier; I happened to see the 155 Main St condo advertised in the World. Not a woman to waste any time, she called immediately, checked it out and made an offer. Soon she was having it painted in bright colors, tearing up the carpets and having the floors refinished to make the place her own. Her job at the Montpelier Senior Center has given her the opportunity to travel extensively. It is a consuming task to make all the plans, but the payoff is both in the interesting day trips and the unforgettable longer trips.

I know that Cindy is looking forward to the next chapter of her life; never one to let the moss grow under her feet, she is looking to travel around the country in her r.v. I expect that she will come to visit Raleigh and I can show her around a bit so that she will not have to be the tour guide. Daphne and I warned her that we will come find her at some national park and do some touring around with her, or just sit around with a cup of tea or glass of wine together. Of course, she will still keep a base in Montpelier so that she can spend some time with those dear grandsons. I expect that she looks forward to the day when Owen and Dean might be in that RV exploring with her.

So, that in a nutshell are some of my memories.

-Kate"

Adventure is her middle name, Cindy - Part 3

Times change, and with time change people and their interests. Previously a great lover of traveling and adventures, Cindy’s husband would no more take interest in traveling or being active. They got separated because they had grown apart with no emotional connection between them. They did not file the divorce yet – one, because they wanted to keep it easy on the kids and two, the divorce might upset their parents more than anything. Cindy After two years of separation, she finally got a divorce and went through quite challenging times. She is grateful that she had her career and her friends to cope with the change in her life.

She joined a yoga group and started meditation which helped her to get through the difficult times. She stayed in an ashram for some time and lived the quiet and serene atmosphere which gave her strength to figure out her future life. She was delighted to meet people from different cultures, learnt to accept them and opened up to the world. When her younger son, Doug turned 13, they went on a trip to see Europe through an organization called “Europe through backdoor” and to Mexico with her elder son, Keith on a kayaking trip. It was a turning point in her life. She had become independent and started to pursue her traveling again.

After her trip to Mexico, she decided to go back again, not as a tourist but to work and live there. Part of the reason that prompted this decision was both of her kids had moved out and she needed a passion to deal with. Instead of sitting home and missing them, she undertook the adventure of relocating to Mexico. She started seeking a job there, but unfortunately there were no jobs for planners. She chose to be a teacher and joined St. Michael’s night classes to earn a Masters Degree in teaching English as a language. Applied for jobs in Mexican Universities through online websites and got selected in some. Out of those, she accepted the offer from University in Oaxaca, Mexico and moved there with the intention of settling down. And then Cindy began a new voyage of her life.

It was a totally new environment – rural area, rustic buildings with toilets outside the apartments. She rented a cement-house with a porch which had a separate building for toilet and shower. There were no air-conditioning systems or refrigerators provided with the apartments. She bought a mosquito net to save herself from diseases like malaria.

It was absolutely new life for Cindy, She did not know the native people or native language to converse with them. It was a altogether different world than US, with no telephone, no internet at work or the native habits like putting iodide in water to disinfect the vegetables. They would go to the school’s main office to make international calls for $1/min. The university could not get the formalities straightened out, and this led to cindy not being paid for the first 6 months. She hopped between cities of Oaxaca and Morelia and Puerto Vallarta and worked in different universities, stayed with different people, made friends from all over the world – France, Columbia, Sweden, Venezuela. Things got better at Morelia. It was a more civilized location and she found a better apartment to live in.

She played the chanting music and meditated, joined the city yoga, was happy teaching English to the Mexican students and learning Spanish alongside. Cindy’s sons visited her during Christmas and she visited them in summers. Her students loved her teaching and as a result her class size begin to increase.

After four years of adventure in Mexico, cindy got some health issues and had to return back to States in the year 2004. From then till present, she resides in Vermont working as a manager in the Senior Center and has been planning her retirement this year. We will talk about it in a bit. But let me first tell you the reason for this blog. When I asked Cindy that what were the challenging situations she had faced at work or at home here is what she says – “Dealing with big egos is certainly very difficult, I had some good, some bad board of directors, had to hire and fire staff members, and I changed jobs a lot many times, because I would lost interest when the management politics would creep in. When faced with criticism, I first listened, determined if its valid and try to change if it was. If not, I would look for another job! It’s important to take pride in what you do. “

“At home, there were days when there was no support from my husband in what I did or wanted. I would play with my kids and put all of my effort into them. It was good to have friends to talk to, who stood by me in those times. But if we are alone, I learnt that you have to dig deeper to rely on yourself.”

How true it is, I remembered someone told me– “If egg is broken by outside force, life ends. If broken by inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from inside!! Trusting yourself is the key.”

When I started to know Cindy, one thing I realized is that she is never idle, her mind is occupied. She is always involved in some activity. Be it solving the crossword every morning, playing Sudoku on her I-pad, as she watches her news in the evening. And what amaze me are her outdoor activities. Cindy is a big fan of Kayaking and swimming and goes on Kayaking camps in summer. Her Thursday evenings are spent with the book group where they read a common book and discuss it in groups. Come the month of March and Cindy is volunteering for the Spring Film Festival in town. Year round, she has a set of friends called "church chicks" who gather together to discuss interesting subjects. Water-color painting is another hobby of hers and her house is full of beautiful pictures. Every week she spends time playing with her grandkids and also takes time to visit her friends and siblings in and out of town. All this at the age of 64 is so commendable. And wait till I write down the list of countries she has been to – Entire Europe, Peru, Greece, Turkey, Krovasia, Canada and more. I have seen her prep work before visiting any country. She will read books and watch movies related to that country and try to know the place and its culture beforehand. She says that her approach to any country, is, knowing it through the back doors. There is a “honeymoon period” when we start living in any country, and then we are disillusioned later by seeing the cracks in it. But if you follow your instincts, be aware of the surroundings, and accept the dark and bright side of that place, you are bound to have a better experience.

About her experiences of men, she says – “I like men, but not so much that I will settle for company sake coz I will be happy anyways. Men will chase you until they get you. So I don’t make my life revolve around them. Relationship is a two-way street and both should be well aware of it.”

Free bird Cindy - Part 2

Born on Sept, 24 in the year of 1946 to the McCloud family in Chicago, Lucinda had four siblings – three sisters and one brother. Her father worked as a merchandise in the city while her mother was a housemaker. First 6 years of her life were spent in Chicago and the next six in Connecticut. She remembers how they rode their bikes to their elementary school and spent their vacations at their grandma’s place in Maryland playing sardines. She had a very big family comprising of uncles, aunts, cousins and they would get together each year during holidays and have fun around the house treasure hunting or swimming.

When asked about her role model in her childhood, she says she admired her great grandmother. The reason for that, was her bold nature. Her grandmother was an independent thinker and she spoke her mind out. Quite opinionated for the women in that era. She also esteemed David Crockett (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Davy_Crockett) because of his adventurous nature.

Those were the times when women were educated, not to make a career, but to be good wives and mothers. They were supposed to look cute, dress well, but not outsmart the boys. At most they could be teachers or nurses. But Cindy knew she wanted to be neither, yet something. She led a normal childhood of going to school, coming back and playing with her siblings, planning her college life. Yes, like every other person, the child in her longed to become a teenager and live the worry-free college life! Cindy studied at University of Georgia and did not worry about her major until second year. Spent her first year having fun, joining the sorority, partying with her friends. She even attended the debutant which is an event when the father walks his daughter down the ballroom and presents her proudly to the society. As an Indian I could see the similarity of cultures here – There was a custom during mythical times called “Swayanvar” where the bride would choose her groom amongst the able-eligible men in the country.

Well, it was about time when Cindy had to make her decision to choose her major and she woke up to the world issues –the Vietnam war and immigration problems which stirred the melting pot. She made up her mind to major in political science and started working as a planner with the State of Georgia. That was her first job experience. After graduation, she was tested for two jobs – computer specialist and planner and she got selected as a planner first which steered the rest of her career.

She received her first salary check of $500. Happy-go-lucky as our Cindy was, she bought a Volkswagen Beetle for herself and moved into a new apartment. In her process of hopping from Atlanta to Washington and then to Vermont, working as a planner for various organizations, she decided to settle down and get married. After her marriage, she had two kids – two cute boys 5 years apart. And she took a break from her work life and stayed home during the first few years of their growing up and experienced the joy of motherhood. She admits that there were difficult times, but the love for kids and their company compensated for all.

Lets see what happens next in our bubbly Cindy's life.

Merry Merry Cindy - Part 1

"Oh! you have to wait to meet Cindy, She is such an active personality, and always going places! She loves traveling and is so young at heart! I always wonder what will she do with sooo much energy in her!" my home-share representative, Ginny gave me an introduction of the lady I was supposed to share a house with. I was curious to meet this lady and got the chance on Friday, the 19th of March 2010. I entered a house full of .....full of life. A cheerful lady sat in the middle of the living room, welcome us all with smiles.

She showed us her condo and walked us through her lively rooms – One could make out her love for Mexico after looking at the entire wall-painting of a Mexican beach landscape and her comment on the coconut shell which she used as a bowl –“I can never get rid of this bowl, its very dear to me..” she said with a chuckle. It wasn’t possible for anybody to not notice her friendly and jovial nature. I decided in my mind that I can give it a try to live with her and wrote to my home-share that I am ready to move-in. That one little meeting was not enough to know Cindy completely, but surely enough to safely assume that she was tolerable to live with. Little did I know that I was about to live with such a dynamic personality.

So my third story is about Lucinda McCloud, my landlady, my inspiration who perfectly fits into the category of women who either change or adapt to a tedious situation, but never whine about it. Stay tuned for the next blog!