Times change, and with time change people and their interests. Previously a great lover of traveling and adventures, Cindy’s husband would no more take interest in traveling or being active. They got separated because they had grown apart with no emotional connection between them. They did not file the divorce yet – one, because they wanted to keep it easy on the kids and two, the divorce might upset their parents more than anything. Cindy After two years of separation, she finally got a divorce and went through quite challenging times. She is grateful that she had her career and her friends to cope with the change in her life.
She joined a yoga group and started meditation which helped her to get through the difficult times. She stayed in an ashram for some time and lived the quiet and serene atmosphere which gave her strength to figure out her future life. She was delighted to meet people from different cultures, learnt to accept them and opened up to the world. When her younger son, Doug turned 13, they went on a trip to see Europe through an organization called “Europe through backdoor” and to Mexico with her elder son, Keith on a kayaking trip. It was a turning point in her life. She had become independent and started to pursue her traveling again.
After her trip to Mexico, she decided to go back again, not as a tourist but to work and live there. Part of the reason that prompted this decision was both of her kids had moved out and she needed a passion to deal with. Instead of sitting home and missing them, she undertook the adventure of relocating to Mexico. She started seeking a job there, but unfortunately there were no jobs for planners. She chose to be a teacher and joined St. Michael’s night classes to earn a Masters Degree in teaching English as a language. Applied for jobs in Mexican Universities through online websites and got selected in some. Out of those, she accepted the offer from University in Oaxaca, Mexico and moved there with the intention of settling down. And then Cindy began a new voyage of her life.
It was a totally new environment – rural area, rustic buildings with toilets outside the apartments. She rented a cement-house with a porch which had a separate building for toilet and shower. There were no air-conditioning systems or refrigerators provided with the apartments. She bought a mosquito net to save herself from diseases like malaria.
It was absolutely new life for Cindy, She did not know the native people or native language to converse with them. It was a altogether different world than US, with no telephone, no internet at work or the native habits like putting iodide in water to disinfect the vegetables. They would go to the school’s main office to make international calls for $1/min. The university could not get the formalities straightened out, and this led to cindy not being paid for the first 6 months. She hopped between cities of Oaxaca and Morelia and Puerto Vallarta and worked in different universities, stayed with different people, made friends from all over the world – France, Columbia, Sweden, Venezuela. Things got better at Morelia. It was a more civilized location and she found a better apartment to live in.
She played the chanting music and meditated, joined the city yoga, was happy teaching English to the Mexican students and learning Spanish alongside. Cindy’s sons visited her during Christmas and she visited them in summers. Her students loved her teaching and as a result her class size begin to increase.
After four years of adventure in Mexico, cindy got some health issues and had to return back to States in the year 2004. From then till present, she resides in Vermont working as a manager in the Senior Center and has been planning her retirement this year. We will talk about it in a bit. But let me first tell you the reason for this blog. When I asked Cindy that what were the challenging situations she had faced at work or at home here is what she says – “Dealing with big egos is certainly very difficult, I had some good, some bad board of directors, had to hire and fire staff members, and I changed jobs a lot many times, because I would lost interest when the management politics would creep in. When faced with criticism, I first listened, determined if its valid and try to change if it was. If not, I would look for another job! It’s important to take pride in what you do. “
“At home, there were days when there was no support from my husband in what I did or wanted. I would play with my kids and put all of my effort into them. It was good to have friends to talk to, who stood by me in those times. But if we are alone, I learnt that you have to dig deeper to rely on yourself.”
How true it is, I remembered someone told me– “If egg is broken by outside force, life ends. If broken by inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from inside!! Trusting yourself is the key.”
When I started to know Cindy, one thing I realized is that she is never idle, her mind is occupied. She is always involved in some activity. Be it solving the crossword every morning, playing Sudoku on her I-pad, as she watches her news in the evening. And what amaze me are her outdoor activities. Cindy is a big fan of Kayaking and swimming and goes on Kayaking camps in summer. 
Her Thursday evenings are spent with the book group where they read a common book and discuss it in groups. Come the month of March and Cindy is volunteering for the Spring Film Festival in town. Year round, she has a set of friends called "church chicks" who gather together to discuss interesting subjects. Water-color painting is another hobby of hers and her house is full of beautiful pictures. Every week she spends time playing with her grandkids and also takes time to visit her friends and siblings in and out of town. All this at the age of 64 is so commendable. And wait till I write down the list of countries she has been to – Entire Europe, Peru, Greece, Turkey, Krovasia, Canada and more. I have seen her prep work before visiting any country. She will read books and watch movies related to that country and try to know the place and its culture beforehand. She says that her approach to any country, is, knowing it through the back doors. There is a “honeymoon period” when we start living in any country, and then we are disillusioned later by seeing the cracks in it. But if you follow your instincts, be aware of the surroundings, and accept the dark and bright side of that place, you are bound to have a better experience.
About her experiences of men, she says – “I like men, but not so much that I will settle for company sake coz I will be happy anyways. Men will chase you until they get you. So I don’t make my life revolve around them. Relationship is a two-way street and both should be well aware of it.”
