In the year of 1969, famous for the man landing on moon breakthrough, Daphne chose USA to be her land of foray. She had been here before on the summer break, knew her way around, had heard about lots of interesting work going on here from her friends met in Europe. This could be one of her stop overs or this could be forever. At that time, she could not imagine staying forever, but she made sure she had the papers to do so. At that time, each country had a certain quota for people they would let in. The criteria were good qualifications and enough money to get there. Daphne arrived in NYC and went on to Cambridge, Massachusetts to stay with people she knew and find work.
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| Daphne (in purple): 1969 Summer ball at Bath University,UK |
Her first job was as a Science teacher in a Prep school, it payed $5K per year, along with volunteering in some friends' alternative school. Later she worked as a counselor at a Crisis center. Things were not completely different from back home. Women were paid less compared to men, some were fired arbitrarily. She remembers a woman who got fired for being Jewish and fought a case in court against that. The outcome of that case was a settlement and the woman went on to become a principal in a Quaker school. Another instance of bias was when a Harvard engineer interviewed Daphne for a position, gave her the job, then fired her before she started. He had seen her wearing a mini skirt on the weekend.
Things were somewhat stable for Daphne in America that first year but culture shock was all around. She had thought to drive from the east to west coast in a Beetle car to explore more but what she saw was drugs everywhere and the anti-Vietnam movement (with which she she agreed) in full force. She turned back to England in 1970 but found it all too familiar. She went to Spain, then to France, then again took a boat to London. Her brothers came to pick her up at the port and that is when she learned that her mother had died in a car crash. She had been informed, but the letter never caught up with her. After staying in London for a few months, she decided to return, back to the United States.
This time, with a new fate, meeting a new face, in the same Cambridge town. John Flynn was a writer by choice and bartender by need. John was married 2 times earlier, knowing that, Daphne dated him for other reasons. He was smart, witty and impossible. John and Daph had dated for a couple of years when they decided to move to Vermont, in the year 1973. Daphne was an independent and capable woman who unlike most woman did not expect security from John. Her only expectation was that he take his half of the responsibility. The expected was largely unfulfilled, but she stayed, in hopes that things might change. They rented a country house and lived on. John was a very disciplined writer but had no published books yet. Daphne worked directing an alternative high school. Their social life included playing volleyball in Montpelier and watching the classic movie series every Friday (precursor to the good ol' Savoy theater). She and John chose to get pregnant and had their first child after 5 years together.
They circumvented the winter months by traveling to New Orleans and Florida in a VW bus while she was pregnant. John was finishing up a novel that year to be submitted soon. They were back in Vermont by springtime and Daphne broke her water on a Friday. When the hospital asked them to wait until the next day, Daph and John went to the movies that night. John sat down to finish his novel that night and mailed it in the morning, on their way to the hospital. They had the biggest baby born Northern Vermont at the time, in April of '77. John's novel never got published but it did get him a scholarship to Boston University for a Masters in Creative Writing.
By that time, Daphne and John had had a jobs with CETA (Comprehensive Employment and Training Act). The project was to figure out why Vermont construction companies could not flourish during the winter like Quebec did. Since Daph was great with numbers, she organized all the data coming in from the interviewers and he wrote the report. It probably still sits on some shelf in the Governor's office.
The globetrotter Daphne had not given up on her love for travel. With the money she earned, she and the toddler went to see a brother then in South America. I would wonder how exciting of a trip it would be to travel with your one-year old. Meanwhile, John chose to go on a train trip throughout the States as he wrote a travel journal for Vermont Public Radio.
The year after Daphne had already started thinking of expanding her family. she wanted a sibling for her only child, and she wanted them to have the same father - which they did. Even though Daph and John had their ups and downs, Daphne was pregnant again in the year 1979. They lived in Maple Corners while Daphne worked costing out completed jobs for a Concrete Construction company. Her son was in a cooperative Day Care, started by Ginny, who's been a supportive friend ever since. The baby was born at the end of December, 1979, the year when it did not snow until later so getting to the hospital was easy.
Now Daphne had two children and nothing left to say to John. They stayed in the Woodbury apartment until the end of summer. the income was sparse, the times were hard. Daphne had a lot of headaches and health issues. John wrote all day in their cabin. She had to undergo a hernia operation when the baby was 6 months old. After she came home, she found mice all over the apartment, which meant the house was not looked after in her absence. Daphne knew this had to change.
End of summer, when John went to Boston University, Daphne tagged him along with the kids. But it was not working out. They had worn each other out. No one else was involved. Daphne came back to Vermont for Halloween with the kids and never went back. Although it was always that way, she truly began her journey as a single parent, community built family.
